Expectations can be complex, varied, and riddled with people's hopes and dreams. Frankly speaking it can set you up and take you down if it’s not managed well.
Who am I kidding? Expectations are at the nucleus of most ills. Don't believe me? Think of your core relationships, the heart of misunderstands stems from communicated expectations that is not in alignment with what you want or not communicated expectations from love ones that leaves you feeling dissatisfied, like you don’t measure up or you are not good enough.
Controversy often tends to follow expectations (communicated or not) if we are not willing to see, hear and understand the other's persons desires for their selves and their lives. the dilemma, the confusion, the struggle can cause heart break and disillusionment as we try to manoeuvre the weight of other people’s expectations that tries to dictate what we should do, what we ought to do, verses what you want to do and what you should know and shouldn't know verses what we do know. Sounds crazy right? Makes you want to throw up your hands and say, "bite me!" As intriguingly wonderful as that sounds and undoubtedly titillating to the mind it is not always practical or the best option if one wants/needs to maintain certain relationships. So what do we do when we hit that wall? We communicate.
Communication is the key to managing our expectations and those of others though it’s not always easy depending on the dynamic of the relationship. Understand however that even with the best of intentions and the verbalization on what you expect, it does not guarantee (sh*t) anything. Right about now you probably thinking, 'so what's the point?' The point is we simply owe it to ourselves to try, to create an atmosphere foundation of transparency.
Expectations transparency allows the other person(s) the opportunity to make an informed decision as to whether or not they want to enter into an agreement, a relationship with you, to determine if they can live up to, fulfill or commit to that which you are expecting.
In order to get what you want you must be willing to lay your cards on the table and ask for what you want. Thus, allowing the person/persons the opportunity to show whether or not they are willing or interested in meeting, fulfilling one, many or any of your expectations; at which point you can either accept and stay or not accept and walk away.
Expectations must, yes I say MUST be communicated explicitly. You cannot hold anyone's foot to the fire (responsible) for failing to meet your expectations if you neglected to share what those expectations were. Neither can you hold them accountable for what you chose/consented to put up with, your decision/choice, your consequence.
Ask yourself this, are you honest and courageous enough to communicate exactly what you need and how you need it? Are you grown enough to listen to the expectations of others in your life and answer honestly if you are willing to deal or not?
Written by D.S.B.S.Rhapsody©All rights reserved.